A Very Personal Note

On the eve of the next three months and four gallery openings I felt the need to purge some thoughts. I am now wrapping up the last two of nine new paintings created in six months. With these, I am excited about the images that will be shown, however they have been created during, and chronicle a dark period in my life.

While all my work has personal undertones, with these I feel I will be wearing my heart on my sleeve. While some of the work has mystery, others deal with blatant subject matter that leaves my inner most thoughts hanging naked on the walls of New York and California.

It started with "Temperance", the card I was "dealt" for the Lowbrow Tarot Project. I finished this in February and is my largest work to date. To anyone who knows me, this is very ironic as balance in life is not the nature of this beast. I am quite happy with the results, though after six months of living with the painting, I would make some minor changes.

At the same time, I began working on the newer paintings for a series called "Somber Mourning". These I used as an outlet for the emotions surrounding the death of my beloved father. I worked on them before, during, and after his passing. They will be shown collectively at The Alternative Cafe in September.

I was asked to create a paining for "Blood, Sweat, and Fears" opening at Sacred Gallery NYC in October. The premise was for the artists participating to examine their greatest fear. I obliged, and not to spoil the surprise ended up with a self portrait in a somewhat "compromising" position. The line-up is stellar, and I look forward to hanging the work however dark it may be.

The first show to open in a few short days is at Last Rites, my first opening in New York city. Again, I was asked for my darkest work. I used some imagery that touched home to various things on my mind in these months that did not have any other place. In fact one painting I had originally decided not to create. Upon reading something of my Father's however, I knew it had to be purged.

While there was a little worry that a few of these paintings may alienate those who know me, one thing that these "dark" paintings (one of which I created solely for this reason) assured me of is that nothing is shocking.

I will not tell of the events leading up to this, but the particular painting that to me had blatant "shock" value was shown to a chaplain in my presence. The man did not bat an eye but simply asked the meaning behind it. At the time, what exactly the painting meant to me had not coalesced into words yet. So, I was left to find a way to make it "darker" and find out exactly what my story behind the piece was.

I will be putting the last touches on these in the next few days. Me and my work are left stronger. I will be exploring some new ideas and have an agenda to learn some new things and experiment a bit. It's time to become more deliberate in the direction I am going, and address some personal issues.

I will be taking a trip to Los Angeles for the opening of the Lowbrow Tarot at La Luz de Jesus, and in May of 2011 will be showing what comes next in my first split solo show show at The Congregation Gallery. I will be sharing the space with phenomenal artist Dan Harding.

I hope to see you all there, and that you enjoy the new work.

Fear and Courage

Change is inevitable, and with change brings fear. The cooler subtle tones, eyes turned toward the darkness, the model is consumed. Courage is not a lack of fear, but the ability to walk through it. The model wears markings much like and animal or tribal warrior. Obviously still overcome with emotion, she looks toward the light and is enveloped in the warm tones.

"Somber Mourning", oil on canvas, 16x20"

I picked this as the title piece because the image and the raw emotion it evokes is self-explanatory. The doll, in this piece represents the misery of the pain in loss, and her desire to hand onto it.
I used a slightly less soft finish to the face than I normally would. While the colors of her skin are vibrant, where she faces away from the light a cool green takes over the shadow.

Somber Mourning

Contrary to my previous writing, I have decided to start posting a preview of a body of work I will be showing September 10, 2010 featuring Lawrence Yang, Gene Guynn, Jason Snyder and Patrick "Star27" Deignan. At The Alternative Cafe, Seaside, CA.

"Somber Mourning" is a body of work I was moved to create before, during, and after the passing of my father. It deals with the feelings associated with loss. The emotions, the comforts, the fears, and the harsh realities of our lack of power against the situation.

Each work has a personal connotation to it, which will be explained as best I can put put it into words. My hope is that the images strike you, and touch your heart, as we have all experienced some sort of loss in our own lives. Personally, by documenting, and revisiting the emotions, I believe it has purged them a little, and made me a little bit stronger.

Images and statements to follow.

In the Wake of My Father's Passing

Three weeks and a day ago I received a call in the early morning from my mother informing me that she had found my father on the floor nearly in a diabetic coma. I knew he has had cancer for the last six months. A cancer which he had decided to let run its natural course.
I packed up my life, and moved into their house. He was in and out of the hospital for the next few days, as he could not eat much, causing his blood sugar to drop rapidly. I spent the next three weeks being a full time son, nurse, artist, and part time house keeper.
I found a strength not my own. As I watched my father's spirit cut by half with every passing day, I dispensed the very medication which had kept me as a walking dead man for most of my life. I spent late nights painting while he slept, and as the dementia rapidly onset and his hallucinations and delusions became greater, sat with him to assure him it would be alright.
Having been in these states before due to the vices in my past, I was the only person capable of knowing how he felt, and to what extent the fear had overcome him. As I had willingly walked to death's door many times, it assured me of what I knew already. I am not afraid of death, it is life that scares me.
The last two days were absolutely horrific. My father went out as he had lived, a fighter. Unfortunately, I knew he was scared of meeting a vengeful God. He wore a medallion around his neck which he took off a day prior to his demise. I did not read it until the day after his passing. On it were these words:

"He who wears lays wearing this shall not suffer eternal fire."

My father was afraid of hell, while in life, I have already been there.

Norman Patrick Deignan died April 13, 2010. He had spent the majority of his life on the beach, a fisherman. He always loved birds and raised homing pigeons and doves.
I was smoking outside, my parents' street was clear upon my mother calling me in. I ran in to express my love for him as he took his last breath. After standing beside my mother holding her for a few minutes, I returned outside to smoke and purge my tears. Seagulls had surrounded the house. They stayed and dove at nothing on the ground, as if catching small fish in the ocean for about ten minutes, then gently flew away.
Despite his fear, I know my father is in peace. I am relieved. Not that he is gone, but that his fear and suffering is over. I will be eternally grateful for the life he has given me, the the gift I was given to care for him and be his son for his last days.
While he was still lucid, he told me that he only wished he had "stayed around long enough to see me go somewhere with my art". What he may not have understood is that in the coming months, the greatest opportunities of my life have presented themselves.
In my time down here, I have six of my new pieces well on their way to completion. I love each and every one of these paintings. The pieces for my show at the Alternative Cafe are a new series titled "Somber Mourning", and deal with the emotions of loosing someone close. My paintings for Last Rites express young lust and anger. I will not be previewing any, including my painting for "Blood, Sweat, and Fears" at Sacred Gallery NYC.
I have much work to do, and I want to express my love and thanks to everyone who has helped me make it through this rough time in my life. It was the most difficult experience of my life, and the most rewarding.
Look out. Here I come.

March Showings

G-40 The Summit @ Art Whino

The art show, called G-40: The Summit, calls itself an "artistic interpretation of the G-20 political summit." Each floor of the building will have a regional theme, including a New York gallery and a D.C. one -- naturally.

The free show, curated by Art Whino, will run March 3-27 at 223 23rd St., Arlington, Va., featuring work from artists including Kelly Vivanco (work pictured). A public preview with live painting kicks off the whole thing on March 3, 5-10 p.m. It's closed Mondays and Tuesday; check other hours here.

I will be showing a piece in the upcoming
EVERYTHING BUT THE KITSCH 'N SYNC
ANNUAL GROUP SHOW, March 5 - 28. Check it out!

La Luz de Jesus Gallery

4633 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90027

AND...3 pieces st:

The Congregation Gallery Presents
The 8th Deadly Sin Art Show

Saturday March 13th
Doors Open At 9:00pm
The Congregation Gallery | 7569 Melrose, Los Angeles CA 90046
The seven deadly sins are most commonly known as: Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. When these sins become violated, one's mortal soul was in jeopardy of being lost forever. But what is the 8th... Apathy? Corruption? Cannibalism? On March 13th, The Congregation Gallery is hosting the 8th Deadly Sin Art Show, where artists from around the world will ask the question...
"What is the 8th Deadly Sin?"
We look forward to seeing you there,
-The Congregation Gallery

2010 Takes Off!

Things are looking great already in the new year. I thought I would post some new announcements:

For the most part, I believe I have my hands full with work for this year. Right now I am working on my painting for the Lowbrow Tarot Project, to be held at Billy Shire Fine Arts in October. It stands just shy of four feet tall, and is unlike anything I have yet done, with some exceptions... keep an eye out in October!
For earlier in the year, I will be showing in March at The Congregation Gallery. The show is entitled "8th Deadly Sin". I would keep a look-out on their web page for the line-up:

http://www.congregationgallery.com

They are always showing some stellar talent.

I am also honored to announce that I have been asked to show at The Alternative Cafe in September with Lawrence Yang, Gene Guynn, and Jason Snyder.

http://www.thealternativecafe.com

I will be showing a body of ten new pieces.

Its going to be a fun and exiting year. I hope you all enjoy the same. I invite you all to check out the shows!